Skeletons and kids stay in the closet in rural towns. When you grow up in a town of population less than one thousand residents, you learn to fit in. You say the right things, wear the right clothes and learn not to stick out like a nail. Stick out like a nail, and you will get hammered back in. It’s a lesson kids learn fast and early, and lord knows my friend Matthew learned it quick.
Matthew was always drawn to things the boys did not understand in elementary school. He was glad to pick flowers and a playhouse and thought Princess Leia was the best character in Star Wars. While parents shot him side eyes and school bullies found his easy meat, he was every girl’s favorite boy. He loved shoes and baby otters, and most importantly he had crushes on boys, not girls.
You learn quickly to conform when you admit that you like a boy. People tell you that’s wrong, and somewhere along the line, you begin to agree. You begin to bottle up your feelings and pretend that those screaming feelings are fake, or the devil or something. You blame it on everything, except the truth.
Matthew and I have been friends for 18 years. I watched him attempt in every way to hide who he was, especially from himself. In elementary school he got shut down, Jr. high he learned how to fit in in appearance, and by High school, he had mastered the art of looking the opposite of what he wanted to be.
Matthew is gay. He has always been gay. Coming to grips with something thousands of people rally and fight against is hard, especially when those people are your family and friends. Matthew got dull over the years, he dimmed his inner light to appear straight. The first thing that brought back the spark of the boy I knew was theater.
Theatre has long been considered a mirror to society, but what would it be like if you looked in that mirror and never saw yourself? Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) people have struggled over the last century to gain representation in the theatre. For much of modern history, society has discriminated against gay people, preventing them from accessing the same rights as others in society.
Prior to the Gay Rights Movement in the US, gay people suffered from social ostracism, government and police harassment, and persecution. Since at least the 1950s, the theatre has actively worked to bring attention to issues related to the LGBTQ community. In this lesson, we will take a look at the Gay Rights Movement and how theatre has evolved alongside it.
When Matthew and I joined our theater club in high school, he bargains to express himself again. His clothes, hair, and shoes all changed, but so did his voice. He got his confidence back. He saw representation and acceptance for the first time in his life as he began to perform.
Matthew came out to me in secret our sophomore year, and he cried the whole time. He was ashamed, embarrassed, and confused. As he sobbed in his arms we talked for hours about what it meant to be gay in a straight world. I’ve never seen anyone so sad and ashamed of who they were.
Slowly over the years, we began to work on his identity and self-confidence. We began to dive into the world of theater, from Falsettos to Rent and anywhere else we could find LGBTQ+ rhetoric and representation. He saw himself in their stories, and in the actors onstage.
Our senior year, Matthew came out to our town, publicly. He cried the whole time, but this time it was tears of joy.
It’s gotten easier over the years to accept people for who they are. Society has begun to realize that sexuality is not a personality trait. It’s not the 1970s anymore. Nor is it the 1980s or the 1990s. Some people have been able to let go of the past because that is what’s been holding us back from our true potential as human beings.
Even though there are people that hold onto their arcane beliefs as firmly as a limpet mine, those of us that choose to live in the current century do so without fear. Many people have come to understand sexual orientation is genetic. It’s not the choice conservatively minded people would have you believe. The theater is apart of telling those stories, and celebrating their experiences and hearing their voices is a priority as sympathetic performers.
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